Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
