Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
