i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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