Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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