yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
