White coat. Heels.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
