Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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