On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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