I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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