BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
