i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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