i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
