i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
