So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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