Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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