maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
