I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize