don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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