I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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