everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
