You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
