i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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