It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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