I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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