Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
