just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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