I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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