it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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