His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
