Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize