wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
