Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
