Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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