Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need moral support for this bender
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
