Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
