I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
