What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
