U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
