So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
