Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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