I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
