everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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