why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
