So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
