I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
