I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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