Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I met the friendliest cop last night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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