so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
