only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
