all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
