The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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