Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
