Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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