Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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