you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
