Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
