i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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