babies were throwing up all over the place
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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